Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
