jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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