You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
