I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
