what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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