Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
