do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
