we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
