New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
