Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
