You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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