you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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