Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They took my balls.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
