I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
