Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i out mim tonsoeep
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