do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
