is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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