is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
