You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i think i have herpe
just one?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
