Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
