I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
