Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
