just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I understand Curling. That high.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
