One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
