So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
