We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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