They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize