I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
They have beer where we have blood.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
