you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
