Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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