I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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