I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Acid is not a monday night drug
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
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