This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
