i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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