Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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