Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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