I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
