She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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