Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
