our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
