She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
