pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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