May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
