Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
