The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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