it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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