Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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