NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize