We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
