1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
