totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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