dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have post one night stand depression
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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