You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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