making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
