I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
