I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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