On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
