I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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