how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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