You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize