Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
do nipples grow back?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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