plz talk dirty to me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
