My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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